Christmas in the Multiverse Read online

  She came to the bottom of the hill. Trees loomed at her from all sides. The sky had darkened, and was the color of a whale instead of a porpoise.

  They arrived in a clearing. She heard something up ahead.

  “Miaow.”

  “Shush, Shrew. It’s all right.”

  She pushed through the trees.

  Rudolph was ahead of them, nibbling at a shrub that sat in the center of an almost perfectly circular clearing.

  She ran towards him, ignoring Schrödinger’s hisses.

  “Rudolph! Good boy!”

  He looked up at her, then moved away.

  She had Rudolph, but where was Mike? She’d never find him in the dark.

  “Bon garçon!” she cried. “Viens!”

  He stopped moving. He eyed her, then the hissing moggy in her arms.

  He sneezed, sending globules of red and green reindeer snot her way. His nose began to glow.

  “You’ve got a cold, boy.”

  He rolled his upper lip back, baring large teeth.

  “Le nez,” she said, pointing at her own nose.

  He sniffled and plodded towards her. As she stroked his nose, a shape appeared beside him. She bent down to pick it up. It was a parcel, with a perfect green bow. The bitbox.

  She shook it. Mike didn’t like her using the bitbox and she had no idea how this one worked. She tugged at the ribbon.

  “Hello?”

  She stopped tugging. “Madge?”

  “Alex. You’re breaking up.”

  She tugged a little more. Madge’s glowing face appeared in the side of the gift.

  “Have you heard from Mike?” Alex asked.

  “He’s here. Appeared on my desk out of nowhere. Made such a mess, he did. Where are you?”

  “I’m in San TaClaus. I’ve got Rudolph.”

  “What about Santa? He disappeared from the morgue.”

  “He’s going to be fine. The others, are they—”

  “They’re all back in their grottos. As far as we know, anyway.”

  “I can’t find the Spinner.”

  “That’s easy. Rudolph will show you.”

  “He will?”

  She eyed Rudolph. He was sneezing into the fake snow, sending gusts of paper flying.

  “Rudolph, find the Spinner.”

  He looked up at her.

  “I don’t know what it is in French, you silly reindeer. Le Spinner.”

  Rudolph snorted. An object appeared next to him. It was smooth, and white, and cylindrical. A door swish-thunked open in its side.

  She grabbed Rudolph’s reins and pulled him in with her and Schrödinger.

  Nineteen

  Dream

  Alex clattered into her apartment, Schrödinger still in the box the elves had given her. She opened it and let him jump out. She opened the window a crack, watching him slide out onto the balcony. He stopped to meow at a pigeon that sat on the railings.

  She slumped onto the sofa. Mike had been waiting for her in the MIU when she got back. Without Rudolph, Madge and Nemesis had been unable to send him back to San TaClaus, and he’d been suffering from concussion anyway.

  Not to mention a severe case of embarrassment at the state of his beard. It was long and wispy, and trailed down to the floor. By the time Alex had arrived, Madge had plaited it. For the sake of practicality.

  Alex pulled her mobile from her pocket. She was in her jeans and jacket again, the elf suit back in Sarita’s wardrobe.

  “Gretna three five nine two.”

  “Dad!”

  “Alex?”

  “Dad, are you alright? Did you get back safe?”

  “What? What are you on about, lass?”

  “You were in San TaClaus. With me. The candy cane sent you back.”

  “Santa Claus? Candy cane? What are you on about?”

  She smiled. It was probably for the best.

  “Sorry, Dad. I’ve been out partying. Too much American beer.”

  “Eww. Gnat’s piss, all of it. Drink some whisky, lass.”

  “Yes Dad.”

  “Anyway, it’s four in the afternoon. And it’s Christmas Eve. Why are you calling me now?”

  “Nothing, dad. Nothing. Did you do your Santa shift today?”

  “No. Funny, it was. They cancelled it. Said the grotto had gone missing.”

  “Oh.”

  “Anyway, they’ve asked me to do a special Christmas Eve stint this evening. For late shoppers.”

  “Be careful, Dad.”

  “What of? Kids widdling on my lap? Teenagers pulling at my beard?”

  “Nothing, Dad. Just be careful. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  “Right y’are. Speak to you in the morning. Merry Christmas.”

  “Merry Christmas.”

  “And don’t forget.”

  “Don’t forget what?”

  “That lassie of yours. The materials scientist, you said.”

  Alex stiffened. “She’s not my lassie.”

  “Whatever. Bring her home next Christmas, eh? I’d like to meet her.”

  If you enjoyed this story, you can read more about Alex, Mike and the MIU gang in the first Multiverse Investigations novel, Murder in the Multiverse.

  Claire Pope, internet billionaire, is dead. But there’s something suspiciously inter-dimensional about her murder. Alex must travel to a futuristic parallel universe, catch the killer, and keep another version from Claire from dying. Can she succeed and get home before closing time?

  Murder in the Multiverse, Book 1 of the Multiverse Investigations Series

  Alex Strand is finding her way as the newest and most ginger member of the University of Berkeley Physics Faculty.

  But when the murder of reclusive internet billionaire Claire Pope proves insoluble, she’s recruited to the top-secret Multiverse Investigations Unit.

  Hidden in the parking lot of San Francisco Police HQ, the unit investigates murders by sending officers to parallel universes in which the victim is still alive – for now.

  Alex needs to prove herself. With the help of the mysterious Sarita Jones, the bizarrely-bearded Sergeant Mike Long and Schrödinger the quantum cat, can she track down the murderer, prevent the same crime from happening in a parallel version of San Francisco, and get back before closing time?

  Buy Now

  Read about Schrödinger’s Exploits - free and exclusive

  Schrödinger is a very special cat. When he gets in his box, you never know if he’ll be alive or dead. He’s worked out how to do quantum tunnelling by slamming into walls. And he has a stomach that’s so capacious he believes it has a portal to a belly in another universe.

  Find out how Schrödinger spends his year by reading DIARY OF A QUANTUM CAT.

  Only at multiverse-investigations.com/diary.

  Copyright © 2018 by RE McLean

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  Catawampus Press

  catawampus-press.com